Saying No Thanks to ‘Tradition’

An early memory of mine is visiting the V&A gallery in London, and spending time walking around the circular fashion gallery looking at the clothing from different eras. Different textures, colours and cuts every time I visited, I would notice something different or be drawn to a different item of clothing depending on my interests at the time. And subsequently the V&A became one of my all-time favourite places to visit.

After studying Fine Art and Curation at Uni, I started volunteering at the V&A once a week as part of their first tranche of welcome volunteers. I made the 7-hour round trip every Tuesday, and it was my favourite day of the week. (I took the coach to save money). I was working three jobs at the time, and that Tuesday was held sacred in my diary. No amount of overtime or extra funds would lure me in.

I couldn’t believe it; I got to visit my favourite place every week for half a day, and the travelling meant I could read up on the exhibits, dive deep into the backstories of the objects, and ponder which one was my favourite. I was geeking out MAJORLY! (I wrote a blog about Romance & Love- which needed more words, but hey, I was just stoked to be there!) Here’s the link to see a very young Charli: https://www.vam.ac.uk/blog/museum-life/romance-love-va?srsltid=AfmBOoqy3vD6TKB5YPF7QIoWFjxgE2pwuV026vw-WkTK1XDS8HjEYmKb

Then the opportunity for me to interview for a Gallery Assistant position came up. I grabbed that opportunity with both hands, and moved to London to join the 150-strong team. I spent the next year learning about the objects, favouring certain galleries over others and getting to know the team and their invaluable knowledge.

(I definitely did not spend time asking about ghost stories and feeling frightened and weirded out in empty galleries with alarms going off.)

The exhibition in the fashion gallery at that time was The Wedding Dress: 300 Years of Bridal Fashions. I spent quite a few of my shifts invigilating, and in quieter times reading the labels and simply standing in awe looking at the evolving wedding fashions.

So, why am I bringing up an exhibition that was on display in 2014? Well, because some things impact us a lot earlier than we realise, I spent a lot of time in that particular exhibition, close up with drawings, designs, photographs and actual wedding attire. Deciding what I loved, what I would change and what excited me.

(Note that at this time, I was nowhere near getting engaged, let alone married!)

I guess it was here that I discovered my love for alternative bridal fashion. Two dresses particularly stood out to me, and still do, even after all this time. The first is Dita Von Teese’s purple wedding dress. As you entered the second floor of the gallery space, this dress was the first you could see; it didn’t have a display case; you could see the material clearly with no glare. This part is important.

The dress was presented so beautifully, with spotlights at such angles that the fabric shone. And when I say shone, I mean it! This gorgeous dress is made from violet shot taffeta and designed by Vivienne Westwood. The cut of the dress replicates historical dress from the eighteenth century; however, being Westwood, it has become timeless.

Image by Getty

The next dress, worn in 2002, is Gwen Stefani’s pink spray-painted wedding dress. Designed by John Galliano for Dior, the dress not only has a spray-painted bottom, but also an unconventional appearance when up close. The back of the dress is a partially undone corset, and the whole dress sits on the wonk. (This is the correct design term, I’m sure) With a twisted front, corset fastenings slanted across the front bodice, and a pocket appears up front too. But this dress has a magical quality to it, a little rebellious, somewhat- something that I love; I hate to be the same as anyone else.

Image by Getty

It was from this moment that I questioned traditions, learning that, in fact, the myth of Queen Victoria starting a white wedding dress trend was, in fact, false. Ordinary women would wear red, pink, blue, black, grey or brown depending on their social status. Often opting to rewear their dress wherever they could.

Mary Queen of Scots wore white to her first wedding in 1559! At the time, white was a common colour to wear at funerals. However, white was Mary’s favourite colour, and it perfectly complemented her pale complexion and auburn hair.

So, how did Victoria change the public’s perception of ‘what to wear at a wedding’? Well, it was at the time when the Royal Family had fallen out of favour with the public. A decision was made to make a song and dance of this Royal union. With the distribution of newspapers, mementoes and souvenirs, it was the first time the public had access to a Royal Wedding, with Queen Vic riding her carriage through the crowded streets on the wedding day. A tradition which has lasted to this day.

Supporting local makers and having a dress made of Spitalfields silk with lace chosen for its intricate pattern. White seemed to be the best choice to show off the craftsmanship of this Royal dress. Victoria also wanted to marry Albert as a person, not as the Queen or part of the monarchy. With those before her being married in gold or silver, Victoria wanted to be seen in her stark white wedding gown.

Image by The Royal Collections Trust

And so, when my husband and I became engaged, we too started to think about traditions, what to include, what to exclude, and what we wanted to wear not only to celebrate our unique selves but also who we are as a couple.

At the time, we were living in the cemetery. Most of our family and friends thought we would choose to get married in all black. As much as I LOVED that idea- I wanted to have a day that felt like sunshine, and as I’ve mentioned already, I’m a little rebellious and didn’t want to do what was expected- so we chose the following:

Image by Ellie Gillard

Inspiration can come from anywhere, and perhaps it's new trends you’ve seen on celebrities or on social media with accounts you absolutely love. It could be your love for leopard print, bright colours, tailored suits instead of dresses; whatever it is, stay true to yourselves, and you can’t ever go wrong.

Enjoy the process!